


Sharing a new happiness

by reveetoile



Series: Creating a new family [2]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-24 11:16:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8370154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reveetoile/pseuds/reveetoile
Summary: It's two years since Nagase adopted Satoshi when a new call came in. He meets Kazunari a little four-year-old boy who just lost his mother because his father killed her. As Kazunari is shocked and only speaks Japanese that first night Nagase is the only one who can help him and takes him home with him. Satoshi takes an almost instant liking to him and wants to do everything to help him to be happy and feel secure once more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Satoshi lives with Nagase now for two and a half years (more or less) Satoshi had his birthday a few days prior when this installment begins so it’s the beginning of December 2005 (if any of you is interested in the dates…)

Tomoya rubbed his eyes tiredly and stopped the music in the living room. He was about to turn into bed for the night after he had to work on a report till late and tomorrow would begin early, too. Just as he was about to put out the light, his cell phone started ringing. He swore because he forgot to put it in silent mode and hoped that it wouldn't wake Satoshi. He looked around for it and tried to remember where he put it. Finally, he found it under a few papers he needed earlier and answered the phone.  
“Nagase speaking.”  
“Sorry to disturb you, Mister Nagase but we have a little problem in the office right now,” he heard the voice of the new police inspector Mister Sahl.  
“What happened?”  
“A man set up a fire. From what we get he tried to set his wife into flames. We don’t know why, yet, though. Their son was there when it happened, but he won’t speak to us about what exactly happened. He is crying the whole time, and we think he is crying for his mother.”  
“And you are calling me, why exactly? I do not want to be rude Mister Sahl, but it isn’t my stand-by for emergency duties. It’s Mister Ehrlich’s turn today. I was just about to go to bed.”  
“I know, and I wouldn’t have called you if I knew another solution. But the boy’s mother was Japanese origin. He doesn’t react to anything we say to him - he recoils even more into himself when we dare to speak to him or come near him. We hope he would talk to you. Even if it’s just a little. But his father says he didn’t do anything to his wife. He was just out drinking. The neighbours said they heard an argument and then banging on doors, silence, more banging and then the fire. We need to know what happened in the flat and why there was a fire to get him under custody for more than a night.”

Tomoya was already putting on his jacket before Sahl has finished his explanation and went to the room of his son to wake the boy up.  
“Uhn dad? What is it? It isn’t morning yet, is it?” he mumbled sleepily, and Nagase sat on the bed.  
“I’m sorry. I got a call and had to go out. I don’t know if I will be here in the morning, but I don’t think so. Can you get ready? I’ll ask Julie if you can sleep there for the night.”  
Satoshi nodded slowly and shuffled out of his bed to get his backpack and to put new clothes inside. Nagase stayed as long as it took Satoshi to get out of the bed - just to be sure the boy wouldn’t just go back to sleep, it happened once and taught him - and went to their neighbour to tell her what happened.  
“He can sleep here, of course. Do I have to take him to school?” the woman asked and Nagase shook his head.  
“No, it’s Dave’s turn to bring the kids. Thanks, Julie. I will call you if I can’t make it before he comes out of school.”  
“I look after him. Don’t worry.”  
Nagase nodded and went back to help Satoshi with his school bag and overnight bag.  
“Why do you have to go?” he asked, and Nagase sighed.  
“It seems that a boy lost his mother to a fire and it appears he only understands Japanese. So I have to go and look if I can help.”  
Satoshi nodded. “Poor boy. Will you take him home with you, too?”  
“Probably. I have to see if he needs a place to stay. Would that be okay with you?”  
Satoshi nodded and rubbed his eyes. “Sure.”  
“Thank you, Satoshi,” he mumbled and helped Satoshi into the bed Julia had hastily prepared for the boy.  
“Sleep tight.”  
“Good night, dad.”  
Nagase kissed his forehead and left the room. Outside he said his thanks to Julie once again before leaving the complex and driving to the police office.

Nagase entered the interrogation room, and his eyes widened when he saw the little boy crying on one of the chairs. Someone succeeded in wrapping him up in a blanket but other than that he was left alone with two officers standing a little helplessly in the room. He heaved a deep sigh and left his things behind at the door before he approached them.  
“What’s his name?” he asked in a whisper and was glad when the boy replied in an equally quiet voice.  
“Kazunari Ninomiya.” Nagase nodded and looked around thoughtfully.  
“Could you go buy a coffee or something like that and leave us alone? Just for a few minutes. And some water would be great, too.”  
After a moment the men nodded, and Nagase rubbed his face when they were left alone at last. He didn’t know if this boy would even talk to him, but he thought it would be better if there weren’t as many adults surrounding them more so when he was scared of them.  
“Hello, Kazunari,” he said slowly and squatted down in front of the chair to peer into the downturned face.  
“I want my mommy,” he cried.  
“I’m sorry, but I can’t bring you to your mommy.”  
“Want mommy.”  
He carefully placed his hand on one of his knees and tried to look into his eyes.  
“Kazunari, look at me, please. Your mommy isn’t here. I’m sorry.”  
“Where is my mommy? I only want mommy,” he repeated stubbornly and peeked at Nagase with red eyes.  
“Don’t you remember what happened, Kazunari? Your mommy was hurt, do you remember?”  
Kazunari shook his head and sniffed.  
“Mommy promised ice-cream. Me and mommy eat ice-cream when the loud voices wake me up, and we cuddle,” he explained, and Nagase smiled softly.  
“That happened today? Loud voices woke you up?”  
He nodded and Nagase gave him a handkerchief to wipe his nose carefully.  
“Mommy cries after the loud voices, and I cuddle with her till she smiles. And we eat ice-cream. Mommy promised to bring it in the living-room. I waited. The voices were really loud today.”  
Nagase nodded slowly and patted his head.  
“Where was your daddy?”  
“Daddy leaves after the loud voices and mommy tells me to hide if he returns. She says he doesn’t like us eating ice-cream… And he doesn’t like me not in my bed after he sends me to my room. He screams at me. I don’t like him screaming.”  
Nagase nodded once more and shifted his eyes to see the inspector standing in the door listening calmly. He had to translate everything afterwards for him.

“I see. And today? Did your daddy come back after the loud voices?”  
Kazunari nodded a little scared at the reminder and brought the blanket a bit more into his body. Nagase helped him softly, so it hung more comfortably around the small body. He began crying again and rocked forward and backwards in his seat.  
“I hid under the sofa because I’m small and fit under it nobody else does and daddy doesn’t see me there. Only when he is on his knees,” he mumbled and Nagase patted his head.  
“That was a smart place to hide,” he praised, and Kazunari looked at him a little relieved.  
“Mommy shouted when he went into the kitchen. Mommy said 'no' and 'don't' and screamed. She screamed for me to stay hidden till she says otherwise. Daddy hurt mommy I wanted to help but mommy had told me I have to stay so I did, and then there was fire. Daddy ran out, and I wanted to go to mommy because she was crying and hurt. But mommy said she would get me. She said so all the times' daddy would come back. And she will get me each time afterwards. And I wanted to do as she told because mommy is proud when I do so. But then people came inside, and one found me and took me out, and now I want to see mommy. But I am not allowed,” he cried.  
“Shh…” Nagase whispered and stroke his back.  
“I was bad. I want mommy!”  
“You weren’t bad, Kazunari. You did as she told you. You were really good and brave. Your mommy is surely proud of you. Don’t think anything else,” he murmured and stroke his cheek.  
“And your mommy wants to eat ice-cream with you and cuddle. I’m sure. But she can’t,” he said sadly, and he stood up carefully.  
“Is it okay, if I lift you up?” he asked, and Kazunari just shrugged crying.  
Nagase decided that would be as much as he would get and hugged the little boy to lift him into his arms and made a sign for the inspector to change rooms to get into a more comfortable room than this one. There he put the boy in his lap since he wouldn’t lose the grip on his jacket and stroke his head softly to lull him a little, and hopefully to sleep.

“What did he tell you?” Mister Stahl asked when they settled down once more and signed his colleague to get a pencil and paper to note down what Nagase would tell them.  
Nagase repeated the words carefully only stopping now and then when Kazunari started to become uneasy and was relieved when the crying died down slowly, and the boy fell into a restless sleep.  
“What’s with his mother? Is she alive?”  
Mister Stahl shook his head and sighed.  
“Not anymore. She died shortly after arriving at the hospital. The wounds were too dangerous.”  
Nagase nodded and massaged his temple.  
“I see.”  
“Are you okay?”  
“No… I have to tell a little boy that his mother died today and that he won’t ever see her again. Then I have to find out if he can speak German, he seems to understand it at least… Most probably I have to take him with me home and there I have to explain to my son what happened to the boy so that he knows and is prepared if this one says anything about it to him. And there is the fact that he lost his mother two years prior because his father killed her. And I don’t know how he will react at all,” he mumbled and shook his head. “How could I be anything else then fine?” he asked tiredly.  
“Sorry, the question was uncalled for. We will call the child service to talk about what will happen now and come back to you afterwards.” Nagase nodded and adjusted the blanket around the small frame before he took his coffee to drink a big gulp. He would need it as it didn’t seem that he would get any sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is Nino. I hope it’s okay… I had trouble with his parts because I don’t know how children that young will react exactly. I know his words aren’t exactly logical. But he is confused and tired and sad. So please forgive me?


	2. Chapter 2

Nagase succeeded to put Kazunari on a bench with his jacket covering his small body and he held tightly to a teddy bear - that he got from the officers when they found him. The kid was sleeping deeply now and didn’t hold onto Nagase as tight as before. He looked at his watch and excused himself from the room to call Julie. It was time for Satoshi to get ready for school slowly. And he wanted to speak to him at least for a few minutes. A smile crept on his lips when he heard the boy on the other end.  
“Good morning, Satoshi. Did you sleep well?” he asked him.  
“Yeah. But I like my bed better. It’s comfier. Julie is making pancakes for breakfast, though, and I don’t think she’ll burn them like you did last time,” he explained excitedly and Nagase laughed.  
“Sounds nice. Eat one or two for me then, yeah?”  
“I will. When are you coming home, dad?”  
“I don’t know. We are waiting for child care to decide what will happen to the kid.”  
“Will you bring him over?”  
Nagase looked at the sleeping too small form through the window and hummed a little. “I don’t know. We have to see what will happen. And I don’t know what people of child care will say. You know they are worried about you. That anything could set you back.”  
Satoshi huffed, and Nagase smiled softly. Satoshi was great. He didn’t have any relapses and Nagase believed it wouldn't happen so quickly. Sure both cases were similar, and Satoshi might have a few flashbacks, but Nagase was ready for it and Satoshi most probably, too.  
“Shall I tell them you won’t mind?”  
“I think so. Yeah… It will be alright. Have to go now before Chris eats all pancakes. I see you this afternoon. Love you, dad.”  
“Love you, too, Satoshi. Keep attention in school.” He ended the call just when Lara Schmitz entered the office.

“Nice to see you again, mister Nagase,” she greeted, and he grimaced.  
“No, not really. No offence, Lara. But meeting here typically brings bad news,” he explained when she looked a bit put off.  
The woman nodded and sighed. “You are right. What is it this time? They told us nothing just that someone has to come and since I’m free this morning, it’s me.”  
Nagase looked into the room once more and pointed to the sleeping kid inside.  
“The kid cried the whole night and fell asleep only an hour ago,” he explained and signalled the Chief Inspector to come outside with the file about Kazunari.  
“Kazunari Ninomiya. He is four years old. His mother is - or more exactly now - was Japanese and his father is German. The neighbours called us this night because of loud voices and banging doors late at night. When we arrived the flat was in flames,” Nagase began after Mister Stahl shook Miss Schmitz’ hand and gave her the file.  
“We believe, and Kazunari kinda affirmed it, that his parents had an argument. Not the first one if you ask their neighbours - and the kid came out of his room when his father left. But the man came back shortly after and his mother told him to hide from him. So he did. He said that his mother cried in fear and hurt and then his father ran out of the kitchen and there was fire coming from it. His mother was in flames, and we think his father did it.”  
“Where is the man now?” she asked, and Nagase looked at Mister Stahl.  
“We found him a few hours ago in a bar denying to know anything and saying that she must have done it to herself. He demands to see his son.”  
Nagase nodded and sighed deeply. He thought something like this would happen if they found the man.  
“I don’t think that’s a wise idea,” Lara said, and Nagase nodded.  
“Neither do I.”  
Mister Stahl nodded. “Not today at least. He is in jail, and we are getting the testimonies of the other residents in their house about the family. With Kazunari’s statement earlier this evening, we can ensure that he will stay in there for a few days until trial will begin.”  
“And I will make sure that he won’t be forced to meet his father alone as long as we don’t know what exactly happened. What do you say, Tomoya, does he seem to miss his father or want to see him?” she asked, and Nagase looked at the kid once more.  
“No. The boy asks for his mother, and he seems to fear his father,” he answered slowly and massaged his temple. “He doesn’t even want to speak German. I could only talk to him because I speak the same language as his mother did. I think that shows us more than his actual words could.”  
Mister Stahl nodded in agreement. “I think it’s safe to say that we don’t need him today for anything anymore.”  
Nagase nodded and smiled a little before he looked at Lara when the man left them alone again.

“Satoshi told me to say ’Hi’ to you,” he said, and the woman smiled a little.  
“Did he now?” she asked a little amused, and he nodded. Satoshi began liking the woman more when she helped both of them with the adoption. It wasn’t as easy as Satoshi had thought - just like Nagase has told the boy. But luckily Lara wanted to do everything possible to make Satoshi happy and she decided if living with him was that she would do anything to make that happen. Without her help, it wouldn’t have been possible, and her fight for him made a huge impact on the boy.  
“How is he?”  
“He is good. Excellent even. He got a little worse in school, though. It seems he likes drawing now more than studying but I think that’s okay. He does good enough to go a class higher each year at least. He is happy, and that’s all that matters in the end.”  
Lara nodded and sighed when she watched Kazunari once more.  
“You did a miracle with the boy. I wish you could repeat it with everyone we meet.”  
Nagase nodded and sighed. He did, too, but not every case ended as good as Satoshis. That boy has been special.  
“What will happen to the kid?”  
“I think I will find a family who is willing to take him in for a few weeks at least. But it will be harder if he doesn’t speak German to any of them. He will be scared. And I won’t be able to do so right now. We need a few days.”  
Nagase nodded and sighed. He watched Kazunari silently and shrugged a little. “Satoshi said to bring him with me if I think that would help and if you would allow it.”  
“But he could trigger something…”  
Nagase shrugged again and looked at her once more. “Everything could. It could happen every time, and I think I’m prepared for it. Satoshi might, too. You never know how he will react. Not before it happens at least.”  
She nodded and watched Nagase for a moment, till she sighed.  
“It would be better if he could live with you for the time being. I would even suggest it if it isn’t for Satoshi. Because he is the safest with someone like you if his father gets out. And he seems to trust you, at least, a little. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have spoken to you at all.”  
“Let me take him then for the time being. I think it will be okay. And if not I can come back to you to find another solution.”  
Lara thought it over for a moment before she nodded. “Okay. I have to go back, sadly. So I won’t be able to accompany you. But I know how to reach you.”  
Nagase nodded laughing a little at those words. He and Lara met fairly often for work-related things. “Yes, you are right. I shall expect you tomorrow for an inspection?”  
She nodded, and they bid farewell as Nagase entered the room where Kazunari was again to get the kid home.


	3. Chapter 3

Nagase was careful when he strapped Kazunari into the child seat that was on the back of his car and was glad when the kid slept throughout the drive home. He looked at the clock in the car and decided that he had enough time to get Kazunari into bed and cook lunch for them, hopefully before Satoshi arrived home. He sighed when he glanced at the sleeping boy and hoped that he did the right thing.  
He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t he just followed his gut feeling and hoped that everything would go well. Nagase wished he would know the outcome right now, but in the end, nobody could tell what the right decision and what not was. He sighed deeply once more and brought them home safely. He was especially careful when he brought Kazunari inside and put him in the guest room. Afterwards, he went into the kitchen to make lunch. He listened carefully for any sounds coming out of their guestroom and was smiled softly when instead of ringing the bell or entering loudly, Satoshi was quiet when he let himself in and greeted Nagase in a soft voice.

“Welcome back, Satoshi. How was your day?” he asked and tousled his hair smiling. Satoshi shrugged a little and sat on a chair in the kitchen.  
“As always. It’s school, dad. Nothing exciting happens there, ever.”  
“Is that so?” he asked and grinned when Satoshi nodded thoughtfully.  
“What are you cooking?” Satoshi asked then, and Nagase laughed when he saw the bright beam in Satoshi’s eyes.  
“What do you think I’m making?” he asked grinning and Satoshi pouted a bit.  
“Curry? It smells like curry.”  
Nagase nodded and smiled when Satoshi let out a cry of joy. Curry was his favourite dish and Nagase decided that it was the fastest to do and perhaps their little guest would like it also. If he managed to make it like, he was used to from his mother’s cooking. A dark look crossed his face, and he was too slow for Satoshi not to notice.  
“You brought him with you?” he asked, and Nagase sighed. He sat across Satoshi to look into his eyes.  
“Yes, Miss Schmitz and I thought it would be the best. The kid needs some people who understand him, and we do. I only hope he will continue to speak to me and that it didn’t only happen because I was the only one that happens to understand him when we met in the office. And that is if he even speaks to anybody when I tell him about his mother.”

“What happened to them, dad?” Nagase watched Satoshi thoughtfully and put his hand above Satoshi’s, when he saw how anxious the boy was, to squeeze it softly.  
“His father killed his mother,” he explained slowly watching him carefully. Satoshi froze at those words and bit his lip hard. He had thought something like that after Nagase had called him this morning but hearing it shocked him more than he thought it would.  
“Like mine? Stabbing her over and over?” Nagase shook his head and pulled Satoshi over to stroke his back to let him know that he wasn’t alone. He leant back and stroke his hair calmly so that Satoshi would remember that all that lay in the past and that he was safe here and now.  
“No. Even more brutally. He set fire to her. She must have been hurt badly, and she died on her way to the hospital.”  
“Did he see?”  
“The kid? We don’t know exactly. I only know for now that he heard her and saw the flames at least later on. He is lucky that he is mostly unharmed. But regardless of what he saw it’s bad enough as it is. We won’t speak to him about what happened exactly. Do you understand, Satoshi? If he wants to talk about it, it’s fine, but we won’t force him, promise me, please?”  
Satoshi was a little surprised since they talked to him about what happened but he was older, and he wanted to speak about his mother and his father after the first few days, so it was probably different then. “Okay.”  
“And one thing more, Satoshi. And that’s even more important. If you feel that it’s too much for you to be with him or to listen to him, you have to tell me. He needs help, yes. But he needs help from us adults. You are a kid just like him even if you are a few years older. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. If you need a time-out or if you need him to leave, you will tell me.”  
Satoshi looked at Nagase for a long time and pondered over his words. But Nagase said it so seriously that he was scared what the older would do if he denied it. So he just nodded. “I promise, dad.”  
“Good. Otherwise, I would have called Lara right away to find another place for him to stay. Your well-being is the most important thing for me-”  
“I know,” Satoshi said hurriedly and put his arms around his neck. “Thank you, dad.” He smiled happily, and Nagase kissed his forehead once before he pulled back a little.  
“Put your things into your room and change clothes. I will look if I can wake the kid up and I try to convince him to join us for lunch. I will introduce you both to each other then, too. After that, it would be best if you could leave us alone for a moment so that I can tell him about his mother, okay?”  
Satoshi nodded and bent over fast to kiss him on his cheek. “You will do fine,” he promised, and Nagase smiled.  
“Rascal,” he scolded lightly and watched Satoshi skipping out of the room. Satoshi knew exactly what to do or to say to make him feel better. He rolled his eyes amused and stood up to look after Kazunari.

Nagase entered the room where the kid was still sleeping in and squatted in front of the bed to shake him awake softly. “Good morning, little one,” he said in a small voice when Kazunari opened his eyes slowly and helped the kid sitting up in his bed.  
“Did you sleep well?”  
“Uhn… Who are you?” the boy asked confused and looked around a little scared. “Where am I? Where are my mommy and my daddy?”  
“I am Tomoya Nagase. And you will live with me for a few days. Your mommy got hurt badly and can’t look after you,” he explained carefully and stroke a few loose hairs out of his eyes. He didn’t want to lie to him, but he wanted to make sure he would eat at least a little bit before Nagase explained what exactly happened to his mother even if he was at a loss at to how to do it. He hated that part of his job more than anything.  
“Nagase-san?” Nagase shook his head and smiled a little.  
“You can call me Tomoya,” he proposed, and the boy nodded smiling shyly at him. He liked that name better. Nagase watched him rubbing his eyes and helped him out of bed.  
“I lied a little bit. It’s not morning anymore it is lunchtime, and I was making curry for us to eat. My son, Satoshi, is waiting in the kitchen. Let’s say hello to him and then we eat, okay?”  
Kazunari nodded and took his hand into his own to let himself bring into the kitchen. There he looked carefully at Satoshi who mustered him with equal interest. Nagase smiled amused and squatted down once more to be at the same height as Kazunari was.  
“Kazunari, meet Satoshi. Satoshi, meet Kazunari. He will live with us for a few days,” he introduced them both and Satoshi sprang from his chair to shook Kazunari’s hand.  
“Nice to meet you,” he said friendly, and Kazunari returned the greeting with a small voice.

Nagase stood up again and hefted the kid up to sit him on a free chair where he had put a few pillows prior so that Kazunari was sitting high enough to reach the table comfortably. He hoped that Lara would remember bringing a stool that was high enough for Kazunari. Satoshi sat down, too, and Nagase proceeded to serve them their lunch in silence.  
Lunch itself was unusually silent this day as Satoshi was careful as what to tell Nagase and the boy shot glances at Kazunari now and then. Kazunari seemed to be used to eating in silence, and he appeared to be a little bit guarded sitting with so many people he didn’t know at the same table. Nagase himself used the time to observe the boys and to ponder about the best way to tell the kid about the death of his beloved mother.  
“I have to do my homework,” Satoshi suddenly declared and slid from his chair after he finished his food. Nagase looked up a little surprised but nodded thankfully. The mood was tense after all, and it would be better to get over with the news so that everything was a little bit easier in the future. At least, he hoped so. He watched Satoshi leaving the kitchen and decided to talk with him in the evening after Kazunari slept to make sure he was okay. Nagase wanted to stand up and clean the table when a panicked look of Kazunari kept him on his seat.  
“You can finish in peace, Kazunari. Don’t worry,” he promised and the kid nodded silently but hurried a little more at eating the last spoonfuls of his food. Nagase felt somewhat sorry for scaring the child so much. But he didn’t think that it would be a problem. He smiled and helped him cleaning his mouth and poked his belly softly. “So is your tummy full now?” He asked playfully and smiled when he got a small giggle in return.  
“All full,” Kazu nodded, and Nagase smiled as he gave him a glass of water.  
“I will put the dishes away and then we can go to the living room, okay?” He asked and waited for a nod before doing right that. He felt bad for having to destroy the little happiness Kazunari displayed soon again, but this mood was a little bit better than the panic he felt for the short moment before.


	4. Chapter 4

“Do you want or need anything else at the moment?” Nagase asked Kazunari who thought about it for a moment before he shook his head.  
Nagase nodded and decided to show him first him where the bathroom, his and Satoshi’s room were located. Afterwards, he helped him to get cleaned up before he brought him into the living room. He had thought for a moment to tell him about his mother in the chamber reserved for Kazunari, but Nagase wanted him to feel secure there. At least a little bit and telling him there such a thing wouldn’t help him liking that room any more than now. He sat down on the sofa and put Kazunari on his lap before he took a deep breath. He didn’t like to be the one to tell the little boy.  
“Kazunari, do you remember where we met yesterday?” he asked slowly, and Kazunari looked confused for a moment before he seemed to remember, and a look of worry crossed his face.  
“Daddy was shouting at mommy and mommy cried. Then there were people in our living room who took me with them,” he answered, and Nagase nodded.  
“Yes, and there I met you. We were at the police station.” It took a little longer for Kazunari to nod this time - most probably because he wasn’t sure that they were at a police station - and Nagase smiled a little sadly.  
“Your mommy was badly hurt. They send her to the hospital to try to help her. But her wounds were too severe, and she died because of them,” he explained slowly and watched the shocked boy getting tense and very still in his arms. “She can’t look after you anymore that’s why you are here in the moment so that I can do that. Me and Satoshi and some other people.”  
Kazunari shook his head and tears ran over his pale cheeks. “You are lying. Mommy told me she will come to get me regardless what happened. She will be there even if it takes her some time. She promised me to be there,” he cried and Nagase tightened his embrace when he felt Kazunari shaking madly in his arms.  
“She will come. She said so, and mommy never lies,” he repeated more certain.  
“She didn’t lie. I would never say that, Kazunari, but she can’t come back from where she is now. I’m sorry, Kazunari. I really am.”  
“She will come and get me. She promised me. You are wrong! She will come back for me!”  
Nagase shook his head and stroked the back of the crying boy. “I’m really sorry, Kazunari, but she can’t. She is dead and when someone dies they can’t come back anymore,” he tried to explain softly and cupped his cheeks to be able to look into his eyes. He felt cruel for saying such things, but he didn’t think it would have been smart to keep up the pretence that his mother could come back eventually even for a moment. That was a hope that would have been too cruel for the little boy in his arms.  
“But she can come back when she isn’t dead anymore,” Kazunari insisted.  
“If someone dies, Kazunari, they will stay dead forever. You can’t turn it back. I know it’s hard to understand, but that’s how it is.”  
The boy didn’t answer anymore but cried even louder in his embrace. He hoped that Kazunari understood what he had been trying to tell him but death might be a little hard to comprehend in the beginning. He stroked his back softly and closed his eyes while he held Kazunari tightly and let the boy cry to his heart’s content till he fell into an exhausted sleep once more.

 

It was later in the afternoon and Kazunari was up once more, playing peacefully on the floor of the living room. He hadn’t talked about what Nagase told him since he had woken up and Nagase decided that he wouldn’t force him to do so. He would see if Kazunari understood what they had been talking about later. He looked up when Satoshi came inside and looked a little helpless and bashful at Nagase.  
“I’m sorry, dad, but I don’t understand this problem,” he explained holding up his maths book and Nagase smiled reassuringly.  
“Bring it here. I will help you,” Nagase promised, and Satoshi smiled thankfully as he left them again to get the rest of his things. Kazunari watched them silently and waited till Satoshi came back before he scooted closer to where they sat.  
“Can I help, too?” he asked hopefully, and Nagase watched him thoughtfully.  
“Yes, you can,” he decided then, and Satoshi looked a bit puzzled at his father. How should a little kid be able to help him with his homework? But he stayed silent since generally Nagase knew what he did and watched Kazunari sitting down beside them visibly happy to be able to help, too.  
“So… I will try to explain to Satoshi what he has to do and give him some tips. Your job is to make sure that I don’t tell him the answer directly because if I did it would be cheating-”  
“-and cheating is wrong.”  
Nagase nodded and ruffled his hair. “Exactly. After Satoshi has finished all of his homework we can play a game together.”  
“Promise?”  
Nagase nodded and smiled relieved when Kazunari climbed onto his lap once more to look at Satoshi’s homework and to be able to listen more carefully. Nagase kept an arm around his middle so that he won’t fall off and they began working on Satoshi’s assignment.  
After half an hour Satoshi was finished and closed his books.  
“Thank you. I will put them away, and then we can play?” Satoshi asked and Nagase nodded.  
“I believe that was the deal.”  
Satoshi grinned and stood up to take his books when Kazunari sprang to his feet.  
“I’ll help you!” He declared loudly and watched him hopefully. He didn’t see the little glance Satoshi shot Nagase before he nodded and took the things Satoshi gave him before following behind him. Nagase chuckled while he watched Kazunari trailing behind the older boy beaming proudly to be able to help and made a mental notice to make sure to involve Kazu in whatever he could so that the boy would feel useful. He sensed that the boy would love that.

Nagase stood and went to the kitchen to make them tea and look for some snacks while Satoshi and Kazunari came back to choose a game that everyone would be able to play together.  
They settled down, and Nagase explained the game to Kazunari while Satoshi set it up on the small table before each of them chose a colour and began to play.  
Kazunari laughed brightly each time he ‘rescued’ a flamingo by succeeding to put a brightly coloured ring around its neck. His high-pitched laughs brought smiles on Satoshi’s face who giggled madly whenever his ring flow over the table because he used too much strength which brought another round of giggles from the youngest.  
“Ridiculous,” Nagase murmured amused and began cleaning the floor when nobody had any rings left and ruffled Kazunari’s hair when the kid grabbed his glass to empty it with big gulps.  
“Careful there,” he reprimanded calmly and smiled when Kazunari mumbled a sorry. “Do you both want to play another round or do you want to do something else?” he asked.  
“Another round!” Satoshi cried out happily, and Kazu nodded glancing at the stack of games a little forlornly. He clearly wanted to try some others but at the same time keep playing this one.  
“Don’t worry. We can play another one tomorrow and the day afterwards one more till we had played all at least once,” Satoshi promised before Nagase got the chance to say the same thing and grinned cheekily at him. “And on the weekend we can go play ball outside,” he added and looked at Nagase for confirmation who nodded.  
“Of course, we can. But now we should play another round before it’s time for dinner and then Kazunari should go to bed because it’s getting late.”  
“Yes, mommy says children have to go to bed early because they need more sleep than adults.”  
“That’s right,” Nagase praised and filled Kazunari’s glass again so that the tea could cool down. They even played two more rounds before Nagase started to prepare a light dinner and Satoshi and Kazunari began to draw on some papers since Nagase wanted for the youngest to calm down slowly to be able to sleep.

He watched the boys a little worriedly since he was almost sure that tomorrow Kazunari would ask about his mother again till he understood and accepted that his mother wouldn't come back regardless how much he wished for it. He rubbed his face and went into the room when he sensed that Kazunari had finished his first picture.  
“I have finished. Let’s wash our hands and eat. After that I’ll help you to get ready for bed, Kazunari,” he promised, and the boy nodded happily.  
“Will you read me a story?” he asked hopefully.  
“Of course.”  
“Thank you.”  
They settled down to eat and afterwards Satoshi went back to his drawing and Nagase brought Kazunari to bed. He read him a story about a boy on adventures and stopped when he saw that he had fallen asleep, just as he had promised him.  
“Good night, little one,” he whispered and left the room after ensuring that the small light on his bedside was on so that if he woke up in the middle of the night, he wouldn’t be scared.

 

“What are you drawing?” he asked Satoshi when he came back and saw that he wasn’t finished yet.  
“A dog I saw today. It was cute,” Satoshi explained and showed him his detailed picture.  
“It’s really great,” he praised and sat back till Satoshi put the crayons away and joined him on the sofa.  
“Everything okay with you?” he asked, and Satoshi hummed deeply in thoughts.  
“Yes, but I’m sad. He is so small,” Satoshi said and cuddled against him.  
“You are right. Kazu is only four years old,” Nagase mumbled and put an arm around him comfortingly.  
“And yet he is alone?”  
“No, he is not. At the moment he is here, isn’t he?” Satoshi shot him a look at those words and he smiled. “We don’t know if he is alone. He may have a family in Japan that will be delighted to take him in. We don’t know that yet. And he is, as you said, young. It would be hard to adjust, yes, but it would be easier for him than it was for you if he is adopted.”  
“And his father?”  
“I don’t think he can go there, Satoshi. It’s not my decision, but I don’t believe that it will happen. We don’t know for sure if he killed his wife - not yet at least - but it seems like it. He will be in jail for many years if he did and then he won’t be able to look after Kazunari. But perhaps he has an aunt or grandparents that are willing to take him in.”  
Satoshi nodded thoughtfully, and Nagase watched him silently for a moment. “You are not happy with that, are you?” he asked then, and Satoshi shook his head.  
“I wish he could stay here,” he confessed, and Nagase looked at him surprised.  
“Why?”  
“Because he is so small. I want to protect him. And I know you can make him better you did for me.”  
“You were a peculiar case,” Nagase said grinning and kissed the head of Satoshi. “I promise, though, to do my best so that he will be happy.”  
Satoshi smiled and nodded thankfully. “Thanks, dad.”


	5. Chapter 5

Nagase woke early the next morning and wanted to wake Satoshi up a little earlier today so that they would have more time to get ready. He didn’t want to rush with Kazunari newly in the house. He crossed the floor when he heard Kazunari crying behind his closed door. He opened it slowly and turned on the lights. He was not surprised to find Kazunari crying in the bed, but he was a little bit shocked when he realised that the boy tried to be as silent as he could and seemed scared when he saw him in the doorway.  
“Oh, little one,” he murmured softly and lifted him into his arms when he saw the wet spot under the boy so that he wouldn’t sit on it anymore. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” he asked and stroke his back slowly to calm him down a little. But it had the opposite effect since the crying only got louder.  
“Me is sorry. Please don’t be mad,” he whined and Nagase rocked him carefully in his arms.  
“Shh… No need to be so sorry, Kazunari. You don’t have to cry. We will wash the sheets and your clothes, and everything will be okay. Nothing bad happened at all,” he whispered and checked his watch. He did have about 15 minutes till he had to wake Satoshi up or the older would be late for school. Not much but enough to get Kazunari more comfortable.  
“Let’s clean you up and put on new clothes, okay?” He grabbed a new set of pyjamas for him since it was the first thing he came in contact with and thanked God silently that he had another pair that would suit Kazunari. He brought the boy into the bathroom and helped him to take off the wet clothes and threw them in the washing machine. He would put the sheets inside after breakfast and wash all of it together. Kazunari had calmed down a little and watched him cautiously. Nagase let a little water inside his tub - just enough that it would reach Kazunari’s hips when he sat in it - and smiled calmly at the boy.

“Incidentally, I thought you would like to bath with Satoshi in the evening. But it’s better to clean you up now, mh?” he continued to whisper as not to scare the little boy more than he already was. He checked the water temperature before he lifted the boy into it and washed him carefully. He noticed once more the wounds and bruises on his body - this time more precisely than the evening before - and sighed a little. Kazunari needed to be checked by a doctor most probably as soon as possible. He didn’t comment since he realised that Kazu began to shiver a little and helped him out. He put a big fluffy towel that was a little larger than the boy around him and lifted him once more to carry him to Satoshi’s room. He didn’t want to leave the boy behind, and he wouldn’t let him wander around in only a towel.  
“I’m sorry, little one, but we have to wake Satoshi up before you can put on the new clothes. Are you cold?”

Kazunari shook his head and snuggled a little bit more into the big soft towel, apparently feeling comfortable now. Nagase smiled and entered Satoshi’s room to wake him gently. “Good morning, Satoshi,” he greeted.  
“Good morning, Toshi,” Kazunari parroted, and a little hand searched for a way out of the towel to wave at Satoshi.  
“Did you sleep well?” Nagase asked, and Satoshi nodded sleepily. Nagase grinned a little since Satoshi hated waking up in the morning and told him to meet them in the kitchen before he carried Kazunari back into the bathroom to dress him. Nagase took his hand and brought him to the kitchen.  
“What do you like to have for breakfast?” he asked him when Kazunari sat safely in his chair and prepared Satoshi’s beloved cornflakes and tea he had every morning.  
“Can I have toast with Nutella?” he asked in a tiny voice.  
“Are you allowed to eat that in the morning?” he inquired amused even if he was preparing said treat. He couldn’t deny it to him when he looked so cute.  
“Sometimes,” he answered sheepishly, and Nagase nodded in understanding.  
“Okay. Then you can have it today. After the little shock, we both had earlier, ain't I right?” he asked, and Kazunari nodded mutely blushing a little bit, clearly chipper.

“It’s too early to be awake,” Satoshi whined loudly, entering the kitchen and looked curiously at Kazu, apparently not understanding why Kazu wouldn’t sleep in. Kazunari wriggled a little nervously in his seat and looked a little ashamed of himself.  
“We had a little accident this morning. I stumbled into his room when I wanted to wake you up,” Nagase explained easily and decided to speak to Kazunari that wetting the bed was normal and nothing to be ashamed or feel bad about. Nagase had expected so after what Kazu had seen.  
“Enough of that. Breakfast is ready.” Nagase gave both of them their choice meals and half of an apple. “Eat up, both of you,” he ordered them.  
Satoshi left the kitchen to get ready after he had finished his meal and Nagase watched Kazunari while he ate his toast, getting the chocolate express all over his shirt. He had to clean the boy afterwards again, he thought drily. At least, he seemed to like it.  
“Are you sleepy? Do you want to go to sleep again?” he asked, and Kazunari shook his head after a short moment.  
“Can I help you?” he asked instead, and Nagase nodded.  
“Of course. If you want. But you can also play if you want. First, you have to clean up yourself, though. If you are fast, Satoshi will be able to help you in the bathroom? Just be careful not to touch anything till you get there.” Kazunari nodded understandingly and asked Nagase to help him off the chair and ran off to the bathroom where he found Satoshi just like Nagase promised.  
“Toshi, help?” He cheered, and Satoshi turned around to look at him. He giggled loudly when he saw him and grinned at the confused look of Kazu.  
“You look like a chocolate monster,” he explained and grinned when Kazu giggled and stomped over to him making little growls and moved his hands like the monsters he saw on TV once. Satoshi smiled and caught his hands into his before he brought him in front of the sink.  
“We have a step you can stand on. Then you can reach the faucet.” He showed him where they put said step and helped him to clean his hands and face carefully. He took off the shirt, careful to not smear the chocolate over Kazu once more. Afterwards, Satoshi ran out of the room when Nagase called for him to get down so that he wasn’t late. It was Peter’s Mom’s turn to bring them to school, and she hated waiting for them too long in the morning.  
He packed the last things into his backpack and rushed to the door. “Bye, dad. Bye, Kazu,” he shouted while he put on his shoes and left the house to wait outside for the others.

Nagase waited for a moment longer if Kazunari would come back before he went into the bathroom and found him playing with the water while humming softly under his breath. “What do you want to wear today?” he asked him and dried him once again.  
They went into his room afterwards, and Nagase showed him the clothes that were his size for him to decide for one outfit while he changed the sheets to put them into the washing machine with his dirty clothes.  
When he ended with his task, he turned around and laughed a little when he saw that the buttons of Kazunari’s shirt were all closed wrongly and helped him to straighten them.

“Today a woman will come to speak to you about your family and your father. I will be there, too,” he explained, and Kazunari nodded slowly.  
“And about mommy? Will I be able to meet her?” he asked, and Nagase shook his head.  
“No, sadly not. Your mommy is dead. I did tell you, remember? She can’t tell you anything else. But she will do her best to keep you safe from your father and speak with the rest of your family. Do you have a momma or grandpa?”  
“Mommy says, I don’t have to go to them. They are not nice. I don’t like them! She promises me to keep me safe from them,” he pouted cutely, and Nagase nodded.  
“Then we will protect you from them, too. Don’t be scared, Kazunari. Everything will be okay. I promise.” Kazunari nodded mutely, and Nagase smiled encouragingly before he left the room with Kazunari trailing behind him.  
He put the things into the washing machine and let Kazunari push the right buttons before they both began cleaning the kitchen. Afterwards, they went into the living room to play a game of pop up pirate while they waited for Lara to arrive.

When she was there, Kazunari was nearly mute again. He refused to talk to her about what happened with his parents and drew silently on a piece of paper, ignoring them both. When Lara tried to pry it out of his hands, he began crying and shouting and calmed down only when he got the things back. Nagase shook his head sadly at his behaving and went to make coffee. As he had predicted Kazunari almost immediately sprang from his place and ran after him to the kitchen and hold onto his leg.  
“What is it? You could have stayed with Lara; I'll be right back.”  
“Don't wanna,” the boy mumbled, and Nagase ruffled his hair lovingly before he got onto his knees to look him into his eyes.  
“We only want to help you, Kazu. But you have to speak to us so that we can,” he explained.  
Kazu nodded and held onto his leg even more tightly. “Come on. I'll make hot chocolate for you, and then we'll talk.”  
“With marshmallows?” he asked hopefully, and Nagase nodded. He smiled and held onto him as he watched Nagase preparing their drinks. They went back into the living room, and Kazu helped Nagase serving the hot drinks very carefully not to spill anything before he sat down beside Nagase on the big sofa.  
Nagase watched Lara for a moment and realised that she must have looked at Kazu’s picture. He looked at the paper for a moment but decided not to speak about it. Kazunari drew only flames and big dark guys throwing them or hurting smaller figures.  
“Kazu said he is sorry for how he behaved,” he began and nearly laughed when the boy pouted at that.  
“Am not,” he mumbled stubbornly. Lara gladly didn’t understand him since he had been too quiet and just smiled a little.  
“It’s okay. shall we try anew?” she asked, and Nagase nodded.  
“Yes, we have to decide how to proceed.”  
“Kazunari, do you know any family besides your parents?”  
“No, and I don’t want to,” he answered gloomily, and Lara looked at Nagase a little helpless.  
“Kazu, you should talk in German. Not Japanese. Lara doesn’t understand you. And it’s impolite to answer in a language one clearly knows the other can’t understand even if they both can speak the same one,” he scolded, and Kazu pouted a little more before he relented and grabbed his hot chocolate with both hands and looked at Lara.  
“No… Mommy says they aren’t nice. They don’t want to meet Kazu because he is only half,” he said slowly, apparently not understanding the meaning and just parroting what they told him. “And daddy doesn’t have any family left. Daddy says it’s good riddance.”  
Lara frowned at that but nodded with a kind smile. “I see. But perhaps your grandparents want to take you in now after all, what happened.”

“I don’t wanna! I want to live with my mommy!”  
“But…”  
Nagase sighed and looked at the stubborn boy beside him. “I told you, your mommy is dead, Kazu. You can’t be with her, and she can’t look after you anymore. She isn’t alive anymore,” he explained carefully.  
Kazu’s lip began to tremble, and Nagase took the mug out of his hands before he burned himself and took the boy onto his lap to let him cry. “I’m sorry, but she will stay dead, Kazu. Regardless how much you wish she won’t.” Kazunari grabbed onto his shirt and hid his face while he was crying desperately hoping for his mommy to come and get him.  
Lara watched them concerned, and after a short look from Nagase, she stayed silent in her seat to not disturb or scare the boy on his lap. It took longer than she expected for the boy to calm down again and soon after he fell into a restless sleep, utterly exhausted from his crying. Nagase sighed and put a blanket over the little form, before laying him out more comfortably his head bedded on his lap.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, and he shrugged.  
“It’s not your fault. It’s normal for him to want his mother back. He doesn’t understand all that happened. Death is no easy concept.”  
She nodded and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “But Kazunari seems to be in good care with you,” she said, and he laughed lightly.  
“Finally trusting me with kids?” he joked faintly and took a sip of his now lukewarm coffee. “What will happen to his father?”  
Lara looked at the picture again and nodded. “He will most probably go to jail. He said he did it just this morning after they asked him two more times about what happened and found more and more holes in his story.”  
“So you won’t need him?” Nagase pointed at Kazunari, and she shook his head. “No… Perhaps they will ask you when the trial begins or his therapist about what you think will be the best for him. You will go with him to one, won’t you?”  
Nagase nodded and smiled ruefully. “He needs someone to trust and to speak to. Someone who knows what he is doing. I can only do this much, and young children are much harder for me to understand than older ones. He needs someone specialised for small children.”

Lara nodded and drank her coffee before continuing. “What do you think about his grandparents?”  
“They sound like pricks… I’m sorry, Lara. I don’t believe that they would be good for Kazunari. If what he says is right then they won’t change their opinion just because their daughter died. That would only make their aversion for Kazunari even bigger. Some Japanese are strange with their heritage.”  
“But he seems more comfortable speaking Japanese.”  
“That’s because his mother used to speak Japanese with him. That way he can hold on to her. He doesn’t have anything else, and he knows it even if he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.”  
“And I don’t think he will get much more,” Lara said, and Nagase frowned.  
“Why?”  
“He was lucky when he got out unharmed. The fire started to spread out when the officers arrived, and they couldn’t rescue many things. They had to get the other occupants out before.”  
Nagase nodded and watched the sleeping boy. “I didn’t read the report I have to confess. So no pictures or things of his family?”  
Lara nodded and grimaced. “None that I know of. But I will let you know if they find pictures or something that he can have. But…”  
“I see… Thank you for trying, though. Can you get me a list of child therapists and kindergarten around this area? Or any other forms of daycare?”

She nodded and looked at Kazunari. “I take it; you will take care of him?”  
“For the time being… Yes. Satoshi asked me to make sure he is in good hands, and I promised him to do my best.”  
She grinned amused by those words. For Satoshi, Nagase was something like a hero who rescued children and made their lives better. It was cute most of the time.  
“How is Satoshi?”  
“Good… He is shocked about what happened to Kazunari of course, but I think it’s mostly okay. More so when he is sure that nobody can hurt Kazunari or him anymore.”  
“No need to worry, then?”  
“Ah… He is a kid… There is always the need to worry about children, and adults, if you think about it. Especially when they are confronted with that kind of thing, but I got that covered.”  
“I see… Then I will leave you on your own for the moment. You know the procedures better than me anyway. Call me if you need something, and I will tell my colleagues you have a case at the moment and they can’t assign you another case for a while.”  
“Thank you.” He stood carefully doing his best not to wake the boy in his arms and saw Lara out.  
“I will tell Satoshi, you said ‘hi’,” he promised her when she bid her goodbye and went inside to bring Kazunari to the guestroom to let him sleep for a little bit longer. It was probably better for him to take his nap now anyway since he won’t be able to calm down once Satoshi was home.


	6. Chapter 6

Half an hour later he went into Kazunari’s room to wake him up. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he whispered and stroked his hair carefully.  
Kazunari blinked and stretched his arms over his head while he looked around a little disorientated. “Did you sleep well?”  
“Uhn,” the boy mumbled and sat up slowly. Kazunari rubbed his eyes with his tiny fists and smiled at Nagase.  
“Great. Come on. I prepared lunch for us, and Satoshi will be home soon. Let’s set the table and wait for him.”  
“Yes! Can I help?”  
“Of course,” he promised and helped the boy out of his bed. Kazu sat on the floor to put on his house shoes and held Nagase's hand to follow him into the kitchen. They set the table together, and Kazu poured tea for them when the front door opened.  
"Toshi!" Kazu cried happily, and Nagase had to catch the teapot fast when the little boy ran to the front door to greet Satoshi. He grinned happily when Satoshi ruffled his hair softly.  
“We made lunch,” Nagase said peeking out of the kitchen and waited for them to come to him.  
“I only helped to set the table,” Kazu said shyly, and Nagase shook his head.  
“Not true. You poured the tea, too.”  
“Yes! I did!” he grinned happily clapping his hands and climbed onto his chair while Nagase served their meal.  
Satoshi talked about what they did in school today and what he did for his homework till they all finished. Nagase stood up to clean the table and looked at them for a short moment. “You can go and play a game. I will clean up here and then I’ll join you. Do you have to do any homework left?”  
Satoshi shook his head in answer and grabbed Kazu’s hand to tug him into the living room. “Here are all our games. We can choose anything we want to play,” he promised and searched for a few games. “How old are you Kazu?” he asked conversationally and looked which games would be okay for him to play. Nagase was mostly really strict with the age restriction, and he didn't want to be reprimanded.

“I’m four. I’m a big guy now mommy says. I can go to kindergarten now,” he explained and showed off his hand. Ohno grinned and nodded.  
“Do you want to go? I remember kindergarten was fun. We could play the whole day with so many children. You were never bored or alone.”  
Satoshi decided for a game with fairytale figures and began to put it on the table.  
“Don’t know. What if nobody will like me? And I wanted to be with my mommy forever. But Mister Nagase said I can’t anymore,” he said sadly, and Satoshi hummed thoughtfully.  
“I liked kindergarten, and I don’t think that nobody will like you. All people will like you there. I promise.”  
“I’m not sure all but most of them for sure,” Nagase said amused and sat down beside them. “I don’t believe that there would be anybody who is liked by everybody. But nobody has to be liked by everybody. So you don’t need to worry.”  
Kazu nodded at that and watched the both of them setting up the last figures of the game. Nagase explained the rules for them, and Kazu was allowed to begin since he was the youngest of them.  
They played for a while, Nagase reading the stories out for them before Kazunari looked at Satoshi again. “Where is your mommy?” he asked, and Nagase watched Satoshi worriedly.  
“She is dead. Just like yours,” Satoshi answered slowly and looked at Nagase for help. He didn’t know what he should tell him about it.  
“And now you are all alone?”  
Satoshi shook his head and smiled proudly. “No, I have my dad.”  
Kazunari nodded and peered at Nagase before he focused on the game once more. Nagase waited for a moment before he gently shouldered Satoshi. “It’s your turn,” he reminded him, knowing that Kazunari needed time to think about everything on his own.

They played a little more, and Nagase tried his best to ignore the little looks Kazu shot him. The boy seemed to be curious, and he thought it was cute.  
“Where is my daddy?” he asked finally and looked at Nagase curiously.  
“He isn't here, Kazu. He did something really bad. He hurt your mommy and you.”  
The boy nodded. Kazu did remember that his mommy was scared of his daddy. And he remembered that he hit him sometimes when he said he was naughty. Even if Kazu mostly didn't know what he did wrong.  
"I'm sorry, Kazu, but I don't think you will be able to live with your daddy.”  
“But where do I have to go then? I can't live alone. Mommy told me that children can't be alone yet. That's why we have mommies and daddies. And I'm only a child even if I am four now!”  
Nagase smiled and nodded. “That's right. And we will find someone with whom you can live. I promise.”  
Satoshi looked at his father and then at Kazu who seemed to consider his words. They played for a little while more, but Kazu's thoughts were clearly not at the game anymore. So Nagase decided that it was best to do something else to get the mind off of that topic at least for the moment.  
“I think we should get something to eat, huh? It's getting late anyway. Kazu have you ever been to the cinema? There is a movie on Satoshi, and I really wanted to watch. And I think it would be fun watching it this evening and getting pizza beforehand. How does that sound?”  
Satoshi blinked a little confused as there wasn't any movie they talked about going to watch but he realised Nagase wanted to distract Kazu. It worked for him after all, so he hoped it was a good plan for Kazu as well.  
“Sounds good to me,” he decided, and Kazu nodded excitedly. He seldom went outside with his mommy after all.

They left the flat shortly after and Kazunari looked around curiously. Nagase held his hand to secure that he won't get lost and Satoshi walked beside them in silence. He was focused on Kazu as well and smiled whenever the boy seemed focused on something in particular. It was good that they went outside, he decided. Not only for Kazu but himself as well.  
They arrived at the cinema after a short walk and Satoshi read the billboard carefully out loud for Kazu as well.  
“I'll get the tickets. Can you wait here?” Kazu took Satoshi's hand, and they nodded.  
“Will we actually watch that movie?” he asked excitedly.  
“Of course. Just like dad promised. He won't lie to you.”  
“Never?”  
“Never. Dad does what he says, and if he can't, then he will tell you why beforehand.”  
Kazu nodded slowly and watched as Nagase came back. “The movie starts in an hour. So we can get something to eat. Shall we?”  
“Yes, please. I'm starving, dad,” Satoshi whined, and Kazu giggled a little at his antics. Nagase just rolled his eyes good naturally and brought them to the restaurant to get something to eat. Afterwards, they watched the film, and Nagase was relieved when Kazu relaxed more and more. On their way home Kazu fell more than once over his own feet so that Nagase decided to carry him the rest of the way home and smiled softly when the boy fell asleep in his arms.

#

“Did I say something wrong, dad?” Satoshi asked once they had Kazu in bed and were alone and Nagase frowned a little surprised.  
“Why would you think that?” he asked and patted the place beside him so that Satoshi would sit down next to him and not hover at the door. He put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into himself to make sure that Satoshi was okay.  
“Because Kazu seemed to be really unhappy.”  
“That was to be expected. Kazu lost his mother and is mostly confused at the moment,” Nagase explained and smiled at Satoshi's worried face. “Just like you were at that time. Don’t worry. You are doing great, and he likes you.”  
The boy grinned and nodded a little relieved. Kazu had followed him around at the pizza place and later at the cinema, too. He liked his little follower, more so when Kazu had babbled happily about the film they had just seen and how delicious the ice-cream was. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes a little tired.  
“I think I’m just confused. I remember my mum and dad, and I’m thinking about what happened. It’s not like I forgot before but…”  
“It’s different at the moment? It's more at the forefront now. That’s totally normal, Satoshi. It’s okay to be confused or sad or even both. And you can talk to me about anything that’s in your head, okay? But I want you to know that you are doing great with Kazunari and I’m very proud of you. Don’t ever think I wouldn't be,” Satoshi smiled a little shyly as he wasn’t used to praising like that and nodded, even happier.  
“Thank you, dad,” Nagase smiled and hugged him once a little more tightly.

They sat in the living room a while longer till Satoshi decided to go to bed and Nagase stayed in the living room to work on some files when he heard loud crying and screams coming from Kazunari’s room.  
He stood up fast and went into the chamber. He put on the light while he closed the door, hoping that Satoshi wouldn’t wake up, and went to the bed where Kazunari was thrashing around a little panicked when the blanket wound even tighter around him.  
“Kazu, hey, wake up,” he said a little louder to be heard above the noise and held him carefully so he wouldn’t hurt himself. With a little difficulty, he pulled Kazunari from the bed into his lap to wake him up and free him of the blankets. Kazunari’s eyes shot open, and he stared scared into the face of Nagase. He apparently did not recognise him at the moment.  
“Please, don’t hurt me,” he begged and tried to get free, but only succeeding in nearly falling on the floor.  
“Nobody is going to hurt you,” Nagase promised and tried not to swear out loud when Kazu recoiled from his rising hand which he wanted to use to calm the boy down. He cursed himself for rushing and scaring him so much.  
“Everything is okay, little one. You are safe now.” His voice was much softer as he spoke now and carefully he sat the boy on the bed again.  
Very slowly he picked up the fallen blanket and put it over the shuddering shoulders of the little boy sitting in front of him. “Everything is okay, little one. I promise.” He waited till Kazunari was calm enough to look at him more clearly and smiled a little.  
“It was just a bad dream. Nobody is going to hurt you.” Kazu nodded mutely and looked around scared, apparently not comfortable at all.

“Is it okay for me to pick you up now, Kazu? Or will it make you uncomfortable?” Not answering out loud the boy held out his arms and Nagase smiled softly while he stood and picked the boy up. He realised that Kazunari wet himself again and stroked his back calmingly. Kazu held onto his shirt tightly, and Nagase went to retrieve some new clothes. He decided that a big shirt would have to be enough and brought Kazu into the bathroom to change and clean him up. After that, he brought him to the kitchen and sat him in a chair. Kazu held his sleeve fast when he did a step in the direction of the refrigerator, and he smiled once more to calm the boy down.  
“I’m not leaving you. I just thought some hot chocolate would be in order after such a bad dream.” Satoshi needed a cup of cocoa every time to calm down and feel warm and safe once more after his bad dreams, and perhaps it would do the same for the little boy in front of him. At least, he would try everything to dispose of the look of absolute terror in his eyes.  
The grip only got tighter, and Nagase sighed before he picked him up again - this time with only one arm - and set on making the drink like that.

“Dad?” Satoshi called out, and Nagase looked up to see Satoshi standing in the door uncertainly. “I couldn’t sleep and thought I heard voices…” he trailed off, and Nagase nodded understandingly.  
“We couldn’t sleep either, right Kazunari? Do you want to sit with Satoshi on the sofa? I will bring you blankets and hot chocolate. How does that sound, Satoshi?” His son nodded relieved that he didn’t have to go back to bed right now and left the kitchen to go into the living room where he took the blankets they had in a big chest at the wall and climbed onto the sofa with them.  
“May we watch cartoons?”  
“Of course.” Nagase put his documents to the side so that Satoshi wouldn’t catch anything on it by accident and looked at Kazu.  
“Is it okay for you to sit with Satoshi while I’m in the kitchen?” he asked, and the boy nodded once more without making another noise. Nagase smiled sadly and put him onto Satoshi’s lap when Satoshi told him to do so and put the blanket around both of them. Then he put a DVD into the player for them to watch and made the promised hot drinks for all three of them.  
Afterwards, he came back and sat beside Satoshi. Kazu climbed over his lap to his other side when Satoshi couldn’t hold both, him and his cocoa, and drank his drink while leaning against Nagase. Satoshi soon copied him and silently they watched the movie playing. Nagase stroke both of their backs to calm them down completely and looked down when he heard soft breaths coming from them indicating that they finally fell asleep once more.


	7. Chapter 7

Nagase woke the next morning the boys on both of his sides, and he groaned quietly when he sat up. His back hurt like hell! Carefully he rubbed his neck and untangled himself from the tight grips on his shirt. He needed a shower before he could face the day and best before Satoshi or Kazu woke up. He stroke Satoshi's head when he whimpered in his sleep and stood finally up. Nagase put the blankets over them so that they covered the children and left them for the moment.  
In his room, he looked for new clothes and entered the bathroom to shower and get ready. Afterwards, he peeked into the living room where the boys seemed to gravitate to each other and held hands now. He smiled a little and decided to make breakfast before waking them. He took the empty mugs from the table and cooked bacon and eggs since it has gotten a bit late and eating brunch would be the best call for them to start the day.  
While cooking Nagase tried to call Lara and grinned amusedly when she answered her phone.  
"Good morning, Tomoya, is everything alright?"  
"Yes. I just wanted to inform you that I will take the boys shopping today. We talked about getting Kazunari some new clothes and today might be the best day for it."  
"Of course, do you need help?"  
"No, I just wanted to tell you because of the costs. Is there anything you could use from his old clothes or things?"  
"No, sadly not. It all got destroyed. But we were able to find a copy of a picture of his mother. They are drying it now so if you could get something to put it in."  
"Of course. Thank you, Lara. I should wake the boys up. Talk to you later."  
"Yes... One more thing, though. I just got the confirmation for the appointment with a child therapist. It's on Monday morning at nine. Will that be manageable for you?"  
"Yup. Satoshi will be at school then, and I can take Kazu there. I will call after that then. Goodbye, Lara."  
"Goodbye."  
Nagase sighed a little and looked into his living room. He didn't know if Kazu would talk to somebody, but he hoped that it would help him. Shaking his head he turned the stove off and went to wake both of them up.  
"Good morning sleepyheads," he whispered when Satoshi blinked groggily up to him and helped Kazu to sit up without falling off of the sofa.  
"I made breakfast for us. After that, you should wash and then we will go buy some clothes for Kazu," he explained their plan for today and smiled when Satoshi just nodded. The kid wasn't one for many words shortly after he woke up. It was endearing.

“I has clothes at home,” Kazu said adorably, rubbing his eyes sleepily and Nagase shook his head sadly.  
“No, I’m sorry, Kazu. Lara told me that most of your clothes were destroyed because of the fire, the rest got destroyed when the firemen put it out. But that’s fine. We’ll get you new ones today. You don't have to worry.” Kazu nodded and thought carefully for a moment before he watched Nagase shily.  
“Can… May I have a doggie?” he asked in a whisper, and Satoshi giggled a little at the cute question.  
“A cuddly toy?” he asked, and Kazu nodded.  
“My doggie at home got destroyed because daddy wasn’t happy that I left it in the living room. But mommy promised I’ll get a new one. I will only use it in my room, I promise,” he said wistfully adding the last part quick and wide-eyed.  
Nagase put his hand on his head and nodded. “Of course, you may have one. You can choose the one you like today. But for now, you should come into the kitchen to eat something and then we’ll get ready.”  
Both nodded and chased each other into the kitchen to their respective chairs. Nagase shook his head a little amused and breathed in deeply before he joined them.  
After breakfast, the boys went to the bathroom to wash, and Nagase used the short time to write the happenings of the last two days into his report for Kazunari. After he had finished, he stepped into the bathroom with new clothes for Kazu that were a little bit too big but it would do for the time being.  
"You got all wet," he said amused to them and Satoshi giggled while Kazu looked a little bit worried.  
"We had a water fight, dad," Satoshi explained, and Nagase rolled his eyes good naturally.  
"I can see that," he joked and ruffled their hairs. "Get some dry clothes, Satoshi, please. I'll help Kazu to get ready and then we can go before the stores are packed in the afternoon." Satoshi nodded and ran out of the room to get ready himself.  
"Me is sorry," Kazu mumbled, and Nagase shook his head.  
"It's fine. Don't worry, Kazu. I'm happy you had fun. Come on, let's get you out of those wet clothes." Kazu smiled happily and lifted his arms so that Nagase could help him to get rid of his shirt and shorts and to get dry once more. He hopped into the living room when he wore his new set of clothes and waited there for the others so that they could go.

When they were sitting in the car, Nagase looked at Kazu and smiled a little. "Have you already been to a shopping arcade, Kazu?", he asked, and the boy shook his head.  
"Mommy brought new clothes home sometimes."  
"Then it will be a little adventure, ne? Just stay close to Satoshi and me so that we won't lose you, promise?"  
Kazu nodded thoughtfully, and Nagase started the car. After a short drive - the streets were mostly free today - he helped Kazu to hop out of his car and took his hand. Satoshi smiled when he realised how nervous Kazu had become and held his other hand. Kazu grinned happily feeling protected from both sides and looked around curiously.  
They stopped at a few stores to get the most important things for Kazu before they stopped at a warehouse where he could choose his very own cuddly toy.  
"Hello, how can I help you?" A young woman kneeled in front of Kazu who looked around curiously, and the boy hid behind Nagase when he realised that she spoke to him. Nagase smiled amused and put a hand behind his head to bring him carefully to the front again.  
"Kazunari here decided to adopt a little friend, isn't that right?" he answered, and Kazu looked up at him with big eyes. He nodded when the woman looked at him questioningly, and he held onto Nagase's pant leg as tight as he could.  
"I want a doggie," he said in a quiet whisper and watched her hopefully. She smiled a little and stood up.  
"That's great. We have dogs who are waiting for you. Will you come with me to choose one?" the woman asked and held out her hand. Kazu looked unsure at Nagase who smiled encouragingly at him and pointed at the front.  
"Satoshi and I will wait there. Don't worry. You will be fine, okay? We will look after you, I promise." Kazu nodded slowly, and Nagase sat on a little stool with Satoshi to wait for him.

Kazu went with the woman who showed him the kind of dogs they had and decided for a black and white dog. He carefully took it out of its box and hugged it close.  
"May I have this one?" he asked carefully, and she nodded.  
"Of course, if you like him. Now we have to make him alive, ne? He can't speak yet. Do you want him to talk?" she asked, and he looked curiously at a big board where he could push some buttons. He giggled a little when he heard songs and different noises.  
"Is there one where it goes woof woof?" he asked excitedly, and she nodded. She pushed two buttons one after the other and Kazu listened carefully. "That one, please?" He asked her. She pulled a little device out and showed it to him.  
"I will hold this for now, okay? So that you can hold onto your doggie without losing him." Kazu nodded and followed the woman to another part of the shop.  
"Now we will have to fill your doggie so that you can hug it even better ne?" Kazu nodded once more and watched her curiously as she put the device that made the dog bark and some cotton wool into it. "You have to hug it tight so that the doggie will be happy, and so you can see if it is just right, okay?"  
Kazu nodded and took the doggie once more to hug it against his chest and giggled when it tickled his chin. He pushed the button curiously and laughed when the dog barked. "Me likes it," he decided and gave the stuffed toy back.  
"Good. Now we have to do one more thing. For your doggie to be alive, he needs a heart, ne?" She gave him a little heart and smiled. "So that he feels good you have to tell the heart that you will love your doggie and promise it to take care of him and protect him. Put it in between your hands and whisper to it."  
Satoshi grinned from his chair when Kazu nodded in earnest and did just as the woman told. Nagase watched his son and shook his head amused when Nino ran up to them.  
"Will you protect him and love him too?", He asked hopefully, and Satoshi nodded, now being completely serious. Nagase hid a smile when Kazu hold out the little heart to Satoshi and then to himself to tell it a few sweet words. Nagase closed his hands around it carefully once more and smiled while he held his hands.  
"He will have a warm home with you, little one," he promised, and Kazu looked at the little heart that got really warm in his hands and smiled.  
"Yes!" He ran back and looked at the woman who had waited patiently for him. She smiled and showed him the back of the dog.  
"You have to put the heart inside," she explained, and he did as she told. A little anxious he watched as she stitched the back. "Can you help me? You have to put your finger on the thread," she explained, and he did as told watching her tying a knot and cutting the rest of the thread. He got the dog back and was made to follow her once more.  
"Now we have to wash him and brush his fur," she explained, and she led Kazu to a bathing station where he could play clean the dog. When he was finished, he grinned happily and hugged him close.  
"Do you need anything else?" she asked, and he looked a little bit lost at all the clothes. Dogs didn't wear clothes. He shook his head slowly when Satoshi came to him.  
"You will need a lead." He pointed at a blue and yellow one and Kazu nodded while he took it.  
"Yes, to go on walks," he mumbled, and Satoshi nodded.  
"Yup. Now you will have to give it a name. You are its daddy now."  
He looked confused at the woman who nodded and helped him to sit beside Nagase in front of the computer.  
"You'll get a birth certificate. I will get his house ready while you decide for a name, okay?"  
Kazu nodded and looked a little bit lost at Nagase who pulled him onto his lap so that they could use the same computer. "What do you want to call him or her?"  
"Doggie is a boy like me!" Kazu decided, and Nagase nodded.  
"I see. And what would be his name."  
"Can I call him doggie?" he asked and looked up to him.  
"Of course. If you want. It's doggie-kun then?" Nagase asked, and Kazu giggled a little bit.  
"Yes, please."   
"Of course," he promised and ruffled his head. "It's a great name." He typed the name into the field and clicked okay before he helped Kazu down so that they could pay for his toy and Kazu watched carefully as the woman put him into his house.  
"Can you carry him?" Nagase asked, and Kazu nodded even if the cardboard box was a little bit too big for the boy. Satoshi smiled and helped him to carry it to their car to go home.

When they arrive their Satoshi helped Kazu to bring the box into his room where Kazu lifted the dog out of his box and climbed onto his bed where the bear he got at the police station was lying. Nagase watched him introduce the stuffed toys to each other and to show the dog around. He smiled amused and ruffled Kazu's hair.  
"Will you be okay for the moment?" he asked, and Kazu nodded.  
"I will show doggie around," he explained, and Nagase grinned before he left him with Satoshi.  
He hugged his son for a moment and sighed when Satoshi hid his face against his chest. “Is everything okay?” Nagase asked him and brought him with him to the bathroom to prepare the newly bought clothes for washing.  
“Yes, no... I don't know," he answered after a while and continued to hold onto his dad.  
"Do you want to tell me? I'm worried about you."  
"I don't know dad. I'm just confused, I think. I didn't sleep well, and I am worried because Kazu was so scared this night. It scared me. What do you think his father did?"  
"I don't know, Satoshi, and I won't ask him. And the important part is: It's the past. He is here now with you and me. And I will look after him. You don't have to be scared of his father. The man will never get near you or Kazu. I promise."  
Satoshi watched his father for a few minutes till he embraced him tightly. "Thank you, dad," he breathed relieved, and Nagase put his arms around him.  
"I will protect you," he whispered again and felt Satoshi nodding against him. They had stood for a few minutes like that before Nagase lifted his chin up.

"Do you still want to go to your dance group this afternoon. Or should we skip it?" Nagase asked.  
Satoshi thought about it for a moment and shook his head. His dad had managed a dance group for youths with behaviour problems for a few weekends and took Satoshi with him sometimes because he couldn’t leave him alone at home. Satoshi had fun participating there and begged his dad afterwards to be allowed to join a regular group. Of course, he was allowed to, and he went to a semi-professional hip-hop class now for two hours each Saturday. It was fun more so because he loved dancing and the fact that he didn't have to think about anything but his movements when he was there. Something that he was looking forward right now. “Yes, if that’s okay.”  
Nagase nodded once more and ruffled his hair. “It is. I will bring you take Kazunari with me to the playground nearby.”  
Satoshi smiled happily and kissed his cheek before he left him alone to do the washing and went to his room to do his homework he didn't finish the day before.


	8. Chapter 8

In the afternoon, Nagase put Kazu and Satoshi in his car to drive them to Satoshi’s dance class. “Where are we going?” Nino asked curiously, and Satoshi grinned happily at the younger boy.  
“To my dance class,” he answered smiling happily, and Kazu nodded a little confused at that.  
“Is dancing fun?”  
“For me, it is fun, and I like it. Sho doesn't like it that much. He went once with me and fell each time we had to do a turn or a jump,” Satoshi explained giggling when he remembered the pout on Sho's face that one time he asked him to try it out. Sho had fun but sucked at dancing and as much fun Satoshi had to watch him fail he was too worried that he hurt himself.  
“Can you teach me?”  
Satoshi was brought back from his thoughts with Nino's question and frowned a little before he nodded. “Of course. This evening or tomorrow after school I can show you if you want.”  
“Yes, please.”  
Satoshi nodded, and Nagase looked at them with an amused smile while Kazu sang happily that the other boy would teach him dancing. Kazu jumped a little up and down in his seat and grinned brightly. He wanted to do the same things Satoshi did.  
“Kazu, do you like dancing?” Nagase asked, and Kazu shrugged a little bit.  
“Dunno. I haven’t danced yet. But if Satoshi says it’s fun then I want to learn it, too.”  
Nagase hummed understandingly and watched him through the rear-view. It was interesting to listen to the boy, and he was surprised that there were so many things he didn’t know yet and Nagase was curious how he would develop in the next few months.

Kazu looked out of the window and watched as the houses seem to fly beside their car. They finally stopped in front of the studio and Satoshi hopped out of the car to get his things and say goodbye to his dad. “Aren’t we going to watch?” Kazu asked Nagase, and he shook his head slowly.  
“No, we aren't allowed to watch because that could distract them and they rehearse dances that they show a few times a year in front of the parents.” Kazu looked at Satoshi sadly, and the boy nibbled on his lip. He didn’t want to make Kazu sad, but he wanted to be on his own at these dance lessons. He liked showing Nagase the finished dances, but he wanted to learn them on his own. And without his dad. Only with his friends at the dance school. He didn't like being watched while practising and even if Nagase laughed a little the first time he told them he never asked to look at the practice again afterwards.  
“I’m sorry, Kazu. I’ll show you this evening. I promise.”  
Kazu sniffed a little bit but then he nodded and let Satoshi ruffle his hair a little. “I will wait for you here.”  
Satoshi nodded and smiled. “I will be back soon. Perhaps dad will take you out to eat ice-cream while you wait. Won’t you dad?” he asked, but Kazu shook his head stubbornly.  
“Only together with you,” he explained.  
“We will go to the playground. How does that sound Kazu? There is one with a slide nearby, and later we will go fetch Satoshi and eat a big bowl of ice cream together,” he decided and looked at Kazu questioningly.  
Kazu nodded happily and clapped his hands. “Yes, please.”  
“Till later”, Nagase said to Satoshi and Kazu waved till he couldn’t see him anymore. They went to the playground which was right behind the big building where the dance classes were held, and Kazu held tight onto Nagase's hand.  
“Can I use the swing?” he asked hopefully.  
“Of course, you may. Do you want me to push you?”  
Kazu nodded thankfully and climbed onto a swing and hold carefully on the strings. There he waited till Nagase went around him and carefully pushed the swing.  
"Don't let go," Nagase advised, and he nodded laughing swinging his legs forward and backwards. It was fun for Kazu. He felt as if he could fly and held even more tightly on the strings so that he wouldn't accidentally let go and fall.

After a while, Nagase carefully stopped the swing and Kazu hopped down. "I will go there and sit for a moment so that you can go explore the rest here, alright?" Kazu nodded once and marched to the sandbox to play in the sand for a while. Nagase smiled amused and sat on a little bench to watch Kazu running around and trying out the different games there were.  
He was glad that the boy was fine and seemed to have fun without thinking about anything else for a while. At home, he began brooding soon whenever he wasn't playing with Satoshi. Nagase understood of course why Kazu was so sad most of the time and he wanted to give him every possibility to feel so, but sometimes Nagase was worried that Kazu would forget how to be happy and he wanted to create as many chances for him to be happy as he could.  
After an hour and a half, his phone beeped, and he stood to catch the boy at the end of the slide. Kazu cried out laughing when he lifted him for a moment above his head before he put him down again.  
"We have to go back to be on time to fetch Satoshi. Are you ready to go?" he asked and helped him to tap himself down to get the sand clinging to his clothes off.  
"Yes!"

Satoshi peeked out of the window to see if Nagase and Kazu were there already and grinned when he could eventually see them finally. Kazu was skipping seemingly happy at Nagase's side and was talking animatedly.  
His lesson finished just a few minutes prior, but he wanted to make sure that Kazu thought he waited for him like he promised to do. He felt exhausted but a good exhausted and hot from dancing half of the afternoon but now he was brimming with excitement to spend the day playing with Kazu and talking to him. He changed clothes as fast as he could and left the building to go to the other two. He waved at them when he closed the door behind him and smiled when Kazu came running.  
"We waited for you," the boy yelled excitedly and hugged him tightly. "Did you have fun, Toshi?" he asked, and Satoshi nodded.  
"Yes. It was fun," Satoshi nodded and ruffled Kazu's hair softly. He smiled when he felt the sand in between the strands. "Did you have fun, too?"  
“Yes! I could play in the sand and on the slide and Tomo pushed me on the swing. I had so much fun. And now we are going to eat ice cream.” Kazu pulled Satoshi along to Nagase who nodded at them both and took Satoshi's bag so that he had his hands free to walk with Kazu. Satoshi led them to a parlour he and Nagase frequented. They approached the display to look at the types they had and sat down at a little table outside.  
"What do you want?" Nagase asked them, and Satoshi showed him the picture of an ice cream figure.  
"Kazu said he wants to have cherry and vanilla like the Mickey Mouse. I want chocolate and strawberry with fruits, please." Kazu nodded beside him, and Nagase nodded before ordering for all of them.

In the evening Kazunari fell asleep in the bath, he shared with Satoshi.  
"Dad?" Satoshi called carefully holding Kazu up so that he won't drown. Nagase came into the bathroom and smiled in amusement when he saw the sleeping boy.  
"It was a long day for him, huh?" he said and helped Satoshi to lift Kazu out of the water. He dried him and put the pyjamas on him and ruffled Satoshi's hair. "I'll bring him to bed. You can ake your time." Satoshi nodded but got ready soon after. Satoshi went into the living room where Nagase was sitting and read something and hugged him from behind.  
"Dad?" he asked carefully, and Nagase hummed questioningly while looking at him. Satoshi hid his face a little and held on a little tighter. "Wouldn't it be best if Kazu will become my brother?"  
Nagase blinked and tugged Satoshi a little so that he sat down beside him. "You really would be happy if that happens, huh?" he asked, and Satoshi nodded shyly.  
"I know it is much to ask," he whispered and Nagase shook his head.  
"You may ask whatever you want... You know I would try to do anything for you."  
"Even that?" he asked hopefully, and Nagase nodded after a moment.  
"Yes, even that. Now you should head to bed and try to sleep." Satoshi nodded and kissed his cheek thankfully.  
"Goodnight, dad," he mumbled, and Nagase grinned.  
"Goodnight, Satoshi, sleep tight."  
Satoshi went to bed, and Nagase followed a few minutes later to tuck him in more tightly and did the same for Kazu before he went to bed himself even later. Thankfully Satoshi slept through the night without nightmares, so Nagase hand only to wake up Kazunari twice when he woke to the yells of the young boy.


	9. Chapter 9

As was almost custom now Kazu did wake up a few times during the night because of bad dreams but he was mostly able to calm down fast with the help of Nagase and of course his new toy. Nagase was glad that the dog helped Kazu to stay calm and left the room after a while. Nagase looked at the clock and sighed a little. It was too late to go back to sleep for him but also too early to wake Satoshi or prepare their breakfast. A little lost in his thoughts he decided finally to put his files in order and look through all the information he had on Kazu again. 

He knew each of them by heart by now, but he didn’t know what else to do. As long as they didn’t know what will happen to the boy, he won’t be able to take on any other jobs. Nagase sighed as he reread the list of injuries the boy had when they first examined him. It was a lot, and he was more than happy that all bruises had faded already. 

Nagase remembered the plea of Satoshi about the adoption and rubbed his forehead. He promised Satoshi to at least try, and he liked to think that Kazu liked living with them, so after a few minutes of thinking he sat down to get all things together to ask for custody over the boy.

 

When it was time to prepare the breakfast he left his work room and woke Satoshi before going to the kitchen. He decided to let Kazu sleep a little while longer so that he had enough rest for today.

“Is Kazu still asleep dad?” Satoshi asked when he entered the kitchen, and Nagase nodded.

“Yup. I think he can afford to sleep in. Don't you?” he asked, and Satoshi agreed amused. 

“Of course. I was just curious.” Nagase smiled and ruffled his hair. 

“We will go to a therapist in a few hours. So Kazu needs the strength.”

“Are you visiting Judith?”

Nagase shook his head and leant back. “No. Lara and I decided that it would be better if you two have different therapists. Kazu will visit another one. He lives a little bit further from here, though, so I don’t know if we are back before school ends.”

“That’s no problem. I will meet with friends after school either way. I told you, right?” Nagase thought about it for a moment and grinned playfully at the boy.

“I think you did after all. What was it? You are going to play football again?” Satoshi grinned and nodded. 

“Yup. I will come back later in the afternoon. I don’t know when but I will be on time for dinner.”

Nagase nodded and stood up when Satoshi was finished to bring him to the door. “Be careful on your way to school. Don’t fall asleep in the subway,” he ordered and smiled when the kid nodded thoughtfully. He watched after him for a moment and then closed the door. He knew it wasn’t right for him to be overly worried about Satoshi but he couldn't help it. Nagase closed the door and went to wake Kazu when he realised that they didn’t have that much time left if Kazu needed a bath and breakfast before leaving the house. 

He smiled when he saw the little boy hugging both of his stuffed toys close to him and kneeled in front of the bed to wake him carefully as not to scare him like the first time he did that. 

Kazu woke slowly and smiled up at him when he saw Nagase's face above his. 

“Good morning, little one,” Nagase whispered, and Kazu rubbed his eyes adorably. 

“Good morning, Tomo,” he answered and with a little help to throw off the covers he climbed out of bed to follow Nagase to the bathroom. 

“Satoshi already went to school,” Nagase explained when he saw that Kazu was looking for the older boy

“I overslept?”

“No, you didn’t. Don’t worry. You didn’t have to get out as early as Satoshi. So it’s fine to sleep a little longer.”

“Okay,” Kazu replied not sure and hugged his doggie close till Nagase reminded him that he had to wash. He put the toy on a little stool and got rid of his clothes. 

“Don’t play too much with the water, okay Kazu?” Nagase asked, and Kazu hummed in confirmation. Nagase smiled amused and left to make Kazu’s bed and bring some clothes for him to wear.

 

After breakfast, they headed out, and Kazu held on Nagase’s hand tightly. He had a little backpack with his doggie inside and jumped along the way. “Where are we going?”

“We will go to somebody who will help you and talk with you about what happened,” Nagase explained thoughtfully. 

“But I can speak to you and Satoshi about everything. Why should I meet another one?” Nagase smiled and stopped walking to kneel in front of the boy to be at the same height. 

“This one is a little different than us, Kazu. You know when you hurt yourself you have to go to a doctor so that he can look at your wounds and help them heal, right?” he asked, and the boy in front of him nodded slowly. He didn’t visit the doctor that often. His mommy told him that he had to go if he was hurt or ill to make him better. 

“Sometimes it is not your body that is hurt but your heart and your mind, you know? You have thoughts that hurt and that make you sad. Then you have to go to another doctor. That doctor is often called a therapist. He talks with you about what hurts your mind and your heart.” Again Kazu nodded not completely understanding the meaning. 

“But I can talk about that with you? I talk with you about mommy. Aren’t I allowed anymore?” he asked a little bit panicked, and Nagase ruffled his hair lovingly. 

“Of course you can. But I am not the best in helping you with that. He has learned how to help people who are hurt in their minds and hearts. And if you are lucky he might even play with you. Satoshi once visited one after his mum died, if you remember, he told you about it. And they made clay figures. Satoshi has some of them in his room.”

“But…” Nagase smiled and stood up so that they could continue walking. 

“I know that you are a little scared about that, but I promise it will be all right.”

“And you don’t lie, right?” Kazu asked a little bit calmer, but not much and Nagase smiled. 

“Yes, I don’t. I promise nothing bad will happen.” He watched Kazu as the boy nodded insecure about the whole ordeal and brought him to the little studio the therapist had. There he helped Kazu with getting his dog out of the backpack and sat on one of the chairs to wait for their appointment while Kazu played with the little bricks in a big box for children to play. 

They didn’t have to wait long for Kazu’s session, and Nagase bid him goodbye calmly as the boy went with the therapist into another room. 

 

The first session was only about 15 minutes long for both of them to get to know each other and soon Kazu was back climbing on the chair next to his. 

“Did you have fun?”

“Tom said I could do what I want there. There are instruments for children. We made music. It was fun,” Kazu nodded, and Nagase smiled a bit. Satoshi liked the instruments too; not as much as the art materials in the end but there seemed to be something in the music that helped them to feel better. For Kazu even more so since he didn’t need to talk about anything but was heard nonetheless. Kazu had problems with talking about what was on his mind because he was often at a loss for words. It wasn’t that he didn’t know enough, he was talented in languages but only in simple, daily terms. 

Nagase didn’t know how much his parents talked to the boy before but learning two different languages at once seemed to have slowed down his language development a bit. But Nagase wasn’t worried about that since he knew that it would enrich his abilities later. However, it was frustrating for Kazu if he wanted to explain something but couldn’t or couldn’t understand Satoshi all the time - which was funny mostly because Satoshi couldn’t understand Kazu half of the time he spoke Japanese and relied on Nagase for translating for him. 

Nagase knew it wouldn’t be long anymore till Satoshi would demand him to teach him Japanese, and that was all right with him.

Not talking much often ended in getting insecure and helpless though because Nino was scared of being forgotten and not seen. So being able to make sounds seemed like a good solution for the boy to express himself; at least for the moment.

“That sounds nice, Kazu. I’m sure you will be able to play again the next time you meet, ne?” he asked, and Kazu nodded. 

“Yup! Tom promised me. And he allowed doggie to come, too,” his eyes shone happily, and Nagase laughed a little. 

“That’s good then. Let’s go home, mh? We will come back the day after tomorrow, okay?” Kazu nodded and jumped from his chair. He carried his doggie while Nagase took the backpack so that they could leave. Other than Satoshi earlier Nino would have two meetings a week each for about 15-20 minutes in the beginning, and Nagase hoped that it would help the boy to be happier than he was now. He really would like to see those happy smiles and bright eyes more often from now on. And hopefully without fear hiding in them.

 

When they arrived home, Satoshi was not home yet, but Nagase expected this. If Satoshi was out with his friends, he was seldom back on time.

“Do you want to play or help me cook? Satoshi should be back soon, and he will be hungry.” Kazu looked back and forth between Nagase and the living room before he decided he wanted to help to make something delicious to eat.

Nagase smiled, and together they prepared their dinner. When all the things Kazu could help him with were done, Kazu went into the living room to paint his picture book till Satoshi arrived. 

They ate dinner together, and Nagase put Kazu in bed when it was getting late, and the boy was sitting drowsily beside him. When he came back, Satoshi climbed onto the sofa next to him and cuddled into his side. 

They talked a little about school and everything that happened before Satoshi went to bed a little later than usual.


	10. Chapter 10

“You were right,” Lara said a few days later when she visited, and Nagase looked a little bit confused.  
“Right with what?”  
“They won’t take him. His grandparents in Japan don’t want him because he isn’t their grandchild. But they wanted the body of their daughter, and it is already approved. They will move her corpse in the next two days to Japan so that they can bury her.”  
“Really?! That means Kazu would never have a place to go to?” Lara nodded, and Nagase cursed a little.  
Satoshi’s mother was buried near them, and Satoshi visited her regularly. It helped him to calm down if he was sad about anything and Nagase knew that talking to her grave helped Satoshi, too.He had hoped that Kazu would have something like that, too. He rubbed his face and nodded.  
“I see. Thank you? What’s with the parents of his father?”  
“They are both dead. Kazu's father has a sister, but she is heavily into drugs. She was in different hospitals because of this so I don’t think anybody would give him to her.”  
Nagase nodded mutely and looked at the living room where Kazu was playing alone for the moment. He had explained to the boy that they were talking about boring things, and Kazu decided that playing the game Satoshi showed him was more interesting. Nagase wasn’t sure if it was good for Kazu to play with handheld games at that age but at the moment he was happy that because of that the boy didn’t even try to listen in.  
“The youth care has also decided that the father would not be able to take him in regardless of what will happen. He didn’t only hurt his wife but also his son on different occasions.”  
“You will denude his custody then?”  
“Yes. And as far as I am informed the man won’t go to prison but an asylum because of mental issues. At the moment they are discussing if a trial is even needed.”  
“I thought as much, to be honest. Will Kazu be open for adoption then?”  
“Yes.”  
“I will ask him if he wants to live with Satoshi and me, Lara. Satoshi urged me to, and I would never forgive myself if I wouldn’t at least try. Would you help me with that? Like you did with Satoshi? It will be even harder now since I already have Satoshi. They will be worried about his welfare.”  
Lara kept silent for a moment and thought over his request. Only after a few minutes did she nod and smiled.  
“Of course. Kazu is happy here. I didn’t think I would see him smile like he does now so fast.”  
“He isn’t always happy, Lara. His drawings speak of the horrors he has witnessed, and he dreams of them. Kazu won’t talk about what happened only now and then a sentence, and I can imagine some things because of his reactions. He is a little boy who was treated poorly and witnessed even worse things he can’t forget. But because he is a little boy h is mind works hard to forget what happened and most of the time it’s more like a nightmare than reality for him. But it comes back without fail when he is the most vulnerable,” he explained with a heavy heart and then smiled when he heard the footsteps of said boy and Kazu flung himself into the kitchen.  
“Tomo! Tomo, look I rescued the princess. I’m her hero now!” he shouted excited and pushed the game up to show him the little sparkles and Nagase ruffled his head.  
“Wow! You are indeed, huh?”, he asked and helped him up to his lap before he took the game and closed it. “But one game is enough for today, don’t you think? Do you want something to drink?” he asked, and Kazu nodded.  
Nagase filled a cup with the cooled down tea since neither Nagase nor Lara drank any of it and held him safely while Kazu gulped down his drink. Them he seemed to remember Lara and looked a little bit bashfully at her.  
“Hello. Are you finished with talking about boring things?” Kazu asked hopefully, and Lara nodded.  
“Yup, we are. Ne Kazu, say, do you like being with Tomoya and Satoshi?” she asked, and Nagase rolled his eyes. Lara wasn’t the stealthiest woman he knew, but she meant well, and Kazu had taken a liking to her.  
“Yes! Satoshi and Tomo play with me whenever I want to, and Satoshi reads to me sometimes. I like listening to stories. Tomo reads to me and doggie each evening before I sleep and cooks so many good things. He made hamburger steak yesterday. I like that the best!” he explained and grinned happily at the memories. Nagase ruffled his hair, and Kazu leant forward a little bit more nervous than before now.  
“And they aren’t mad at me if something falls because I am too dumb to hold it tight, and Satoshi brings doggie to me if I forget it in the living room or bathroom without cursing, and Tomo has the warmest hug when the sheets are wet. He doesn’t hit me. I like that too,” he said nervously and glanced at Nagase who kept his soft smile to show him that it was okay to tell whatever he wanted. He relaxed since Lara continued to smile too and he leant back once more.  
“Then I’m glad that you like it here. It’s good that Tomoya and Satoshi took you in, right?” Kazu nodded a little sad since he remembered his mommy now and cuddled even closer to Nagase who just held him a little tighter to let him know that he was there for him. They sat like that for a few moments the two adults talking silently about some other things before Kazu relaxed in his arms and Nagase looked at the clock.  
“It’s late already, mh? Your doggie is tired. Go and get him I think it’s time for a little nap, Kazu,” Nagase prompted the boy softly and smiled when Kazu rubbed his eyes a bit. Kazu nodded and climbed from his lap to go to the living room and took his stuffed toy.  
“I will come back shortly,” Nagase told Lara when Kazu was back and brought the boy into his room to put him to bed to take the much-needed nap that they established. At least for as long as Kazu didn’t sleep for a whole night without waking up. He needed the rest to get through the remainder of the day after all.  
Lara waited for him and stood when Nagase came back. “I will see what I can do to make it happen, okay?”  
“Yes, thank you.”  
“I have to go now. I have other clients to visit today. Thank you for your time, Tomoya.” Nagase shook his head and saw the woman out before he cleaned up a bit and then got to work for the rest of the hour Kazu would sleep.  
Over The next few days, a routine found itself in the life of the three of them. Now that he decided actually to pursue getting Kazu on his family register Nagase tried his best to bring their life from now on in order without anyone dropping over the side. It was not that easy to bring Satoshi, Kazu and work in order so that he had enough time for all of it, but somehow he succeeded. It helped that his work at the moment almost entirely consisted of looking after Kazu.  
Satoshi was old enough to get ready by himself and in between waking him up and making breakfast for the three of them Satoshi got ready for his day in school. Kazu mostly woke up when Satoshi was rummaging in his room and walked sleepily into the kitchen the first thing in the morning.  
Nagase was ready to greet the little boy there and brought him back to the bathroom to help him changing clothes Kazu chose with him the night before, and they had breakfast together. Then Satoshi left for school, and Nagase did all the things he had to in the morning with Kazu’s help or went with the boy to the therapy. It didn’t do that much, to be honest, but Kazu had fun there, and that was all that counted in the moment.  
Neither Nagase nor the therapist wanted to force Kazu to tell them everything he remembered. In the early afternoon Kazu slept for an hour, and when Satoshi came back, the boys played for an hour before Satoshi would do his homework and Kazu drew silently beside him. Work was to be done when both boys were in bed, and Nagase tried to apply for a place in the kindergarten for Kazu. Kazu and Satoshi often talked about that, and Nagase hoped to have more time for his work while Kazu was in the kindergarten. Nagase also hoped that being around other children would help him. But before he had the adoption papers for Kazu he couldn’t bring him to a kindergarten. He feared too much that Kazu would get used to the people there and then had to leave because his new family lived somewhere else.  
His father was put in an asylum just like he and Lara had feared but luckily that fact finally brought the decision that Kazu could be adopted. Nagase sighed a little after he got Lara’s call and decided to talk to Kazu about it all.  
Nagase watched Kazu playing with a few cars for a little while and sat down beside him when Kazu paused a little in his game.  
“Kazu, I have to talk to you,” he began and ruffled his hair when Kazu put down his things and looked at Nagase with wide, curious eyes. “You remember how I told you that your daddy couldn't take care of you anymore?” Kazu nodded mutely, and a shadow ran across his eyes. Every Time anybody talked about why he was here or about his daddy he remembered his mommy and that he can’t see her anymore because she was dead. He hoped that she finished being dead soon. He wanted to introduce Nagase to her.  
“But as you told me you are still a kid and children need to be taken care of by adults. That was why you were here for the time being. Now we are looking for a place you can stay forever, and Satoshi told me he would like you to become his little brother. Do you know what brothers are?”  
“Big brothers look after their little sisters,” Kazu explained, and Nagase nodded laughing softly.  
“That’s true. But they look after their little brothers, too. So Satoshi wants to be your big brother and for you to stay with us as a family, you know? I can adopt you that would mean that you become my second son and me your adopted father and Satoshi your big brother. Would you like that?”  
“I can stay here?” Nagase nodded and stroke his back. Kazu didn’t understand all of the words Nagase used to explain to him what would happen, but he would like to stay here and be Satoshi’s brother. He wanted a brother or sister since forever after all.  
“But I already have a daddy?”  
“I know. But your father isn’t allowed to stay with you because of what he did.” Kazu nodded and silently he was glad that he wasn’t allowed to because he didn’t want to go to him again. He liked it here better after all. Nagase lifted him into his lap and put his arms around him to rock him a little from side to side. It was gentle and calming. Kazu liked that very much.  
“And because Satoshi and I like you so much we would be happy if you want to stay with us. The adoption is to ensure that nobody is allowed to take you away from us. Nothing else will change. We still will play together. I will read to you, and we will do many things together,” he explained, and Kazu thought about it.  
“I want to stay with you,” he mumbled after a while and Nagase kissed his head softly.  
“That makes me very happy, Kazu,” he answered softly, and the boy nodded. He cuddled a little longer with Nagase before he looked up curiously.  
“May I continue to play?” he asked, and Nagase laughed amused. The adoption wasn’t as big a thing as it was for Satoshi a few years prior.  
“Of course. I will do the laundry if you need something,” Nagase answered amused.  
Their lives continued to be like before only Satoshi was getting more and more excited since he couldn’t wait for them being a whole family. Lara visited them regularly and assured Satoshi that it looked splendid and that she was sure they would get the papers soon. Nagase was glad that Satoshi was euphoric to have Nino as a little brother and calmed down a bit more. He was worried that it would be too much for him, but it clearly wasn’t and that was good.  
“Kazu, I totally forgot, but we will visit a kindergarten tomorrow,” Nagase said over dinner. He got a phone call while Kazu was taking his nap but sadly the boy had an awful dream and Nagase totally forgot to talk to him in the aftermath of calming him down.  
Kazu’s eyes widened, and he jumped excitedly in his chair. Satoshi told him so many good things about that that he was excited to visit it, and Nagase thanked him silently. He had feared that Kazu would be scared at the prospect of leaving to attend the kindergarten.  
“Tomorrow we will go there, and you can play with the other children, okay?”  
“Yes, please!”  
As happy as Kazu was going to the kindergarten the first two days with Nagase staying beside him as unhappy he was on his third day when Nagase explained he would leave now.  
“Take me with you,” he begged, and Nagase sighed.  
“Don't you like being here?”  
“Not alone. You promised me to be with you and Toshi,” he cried.  
“And you will be. I will fetch you after a little while. But the children are here without their parents. The teachers look after you here. Nothing will happen.”  
“Promise me.”  
“I promise,” he said and ruffled his hair. Kazu nodded after a long while, and Nagase left him. Kazu cried a little bit more when his guardian left him behind and was almost not calmed down by the two women who managed his group. Only after half an hour he slowly calmed down and sat on a little chair they brought him to rest and perhaps play a little to think of other things.  
He played a game with their kindergarten teacher and watched the door carefully each time it opened. He was nervous if Nagase really would come back. He promised him, but his mommy had promised him to be with him forever too, and now she wasn’t coming back anymore to get him.  
After two hours the door opened and Kazu jumped from his chair when he recognised Nagase. “Tomo!” he cried happily and ran to him.  
Nagase kneeled down and lifted the boy into his arms. “Hello, little one. I’m back. Did you have fun?” he asked and smiled at the kindergarten teacher and ruffled Kazu’s hair. She had called him once Kazu had calmed down and they decided to stretch the hour to two so that Kazu was able to get used to being alone there.  
“We played a game together, ne?” she asked, and Kazu nodded excitedly. He held on Nagase as tightly as he could and was just happy that Nagase came back to fetch him.  
“That sounds good. Do you want to say goodbye and then we’ll go home?” Kazu nodded and waved goodbye at the woman and held Nagase’s hand while they went back.  
The next few days were similar, but slowly and surely Kazu got used to being in the kindergarten without Nagase and had fun playing with the other children and sometimes even pouted when Nagase came earlier to fetch him than the parents of his friends there. Nagase was happy that Kazu liked the kindergarten and being there since it made his work life a little easier and it helped Kazu in a small way to feel more secure.  
Today, after two long months of arguing with the child care service and Lara doing her best to bring up Kazu’s case to the front every few days, Nagase was finally able to sign the papers that would legitimately make Kazu his son.  
Satoshi peeked curiously at the cake in the fridge and looked up at Nagase. “Why do we have cake, dad?” he asked curiously, and Nagase smiled amused at his bright eyes. Today for the first time since attending the kindergarten Kazu had asked to meet a girl he befriended afterwards. He had been adorably shy when he asked, and even if Nagase wanted to celebrate with both of his sons today, he knew how important such things were for Kazu’s recovery. So, of course, he allowed Kazu to go there, and the mother picked up both children around lunch time.  
“Because we have something to celebrate today,” he answered at last and ruffled Satoshi’s hair while closing the door again.  
“Celebrate? Is it a birthday dad? When is Kazu’s birthday?” he asked a little panicked and Nagase shook his head.  
“It’s nobody’s birthday. Calm down. Kazu’s is in June plenty of time till then.” Satoshi nodded more calmly and continued to watch Nagase curiously. He wanted to know what was happening today. Instead of answering Nagase looked at the clock and grinned.  
“It’s time to get your little brother from your friend’s. Do you want to come with me?” he asked, and Satoshi’s eyes widened. In his mind, Kazu was his little brother since he came here. But Nagase never called him like that. He cried out in happiness and held on his arm.  
“Really? Is he my brother now? Dad? Did you adopt him?” he asked, and Nagase nodded amused at how happy Satoshi was.  
“Yup. Since today. I could sign the papers. Now will you come with me? We’ll be late if we don’t leave soon. And Kazu will be devastated if I won’t fetch him at the promised time.” Satoshi nodded and grinned brightly.  
“Yes, of course, I want!” He smiled happily and left with his father to get Kazu.  
“Toshi!” Kazu said brightly when he saw the older boy and Satoshi grinned when he hugged his now little brother tightly.  
“Hello there, Kazu. Did you have fun on your outing?” he asked, and Kazu nodded happily.  
“Yes. We played a lot outside because it was sunny. And I had real Indian food her mother cooked. It was delicious,” he answered brightly, and Satoshi nodded while he listened to Kazu’s adventures on the playground with the other children there. It seemed like he had fun. He looked up to see their dad returning after he had talked for a few moments with the mother of Kazu’s friend and ruffled then Kazu’s hair.  
“Let’s go home, ne? Satoshi and I have to tell you something there,” he explained, and Kazu nodded a little nervous. Satoshi swung their hands and giggled amused.  
“You don’t have to be scared. It’s a good something,” Satoshi promised, and Kazu nodded a little bit more excited now.  
“Okay!” They walked in silence and Nagase helped Kazu putting his things away while Satoshi ran into his room to get something. They all met in the kitchen and Nagase put the cake on the table. Kazu got big eyes and looked at the cake curiously. He liked the cake, and this looked delicious. Satoshi hid a sheet of paper against his back and sat down on his chair.  
Kazu looked from one to the other and tilted his head. “Why are you so happy?” he asked curiously, and Nagase sat down beside him.  
“Because today is a really happy and special day. I told you that I would try my best so that you can be with us in this family.” Kazu nodded and looked a little bit less confused. “And today I finally got the okay. I will be your adopted father and Satoshi will be your big brother from today on.” Kazu’s eyes got wide, and he smiled happily.  
“Me will have a big brother from now on?” he asked hopefully, and Satoshi giggled exited.  
“Yes. I will be your big brother! And I will look after you and protect you and help you and love you. Because that’s what big brothers do!”  
Kazu nodded happily and hopped from his chair to hug Satoshi happily. That were indeed great news. He was a little bit wary about the adopted father part because he couldn’t understand how that worked but he was happy that Nagase would be with him from now on, too. He hugged Nagase too and smiled happily.  
“Thank you, Tomo.”  
“Of course, little one,” he answered softly and kissed his head. “And as Satoshi promised. I will protect you too. Both of you. And I will take care of you. Nobody will hurt you again,” he vowed against his hair when he felt the boy shaking in his arms. He rocked him from side to side and hummed a little bit to calm him down. He had expected him to be a little bit emotional even if he wasn’t sure how much Kazu understood. By the time Kazu calmed down enough to look up again Nagase had smiled and rubbed his cheeks dry. “Let’s eat the cake, okay?”  
Kazu nodded, and a smile found its way back onto his face. Cake was always good. Satoshi looked at him a little bit shy and put the paper in front.  
“Ne Kazu? I drew us as a family for you,” he said slowly, and Nagase watched over the boys while he contributed the slices of cake for the both of them. Kazu’s eyes shone when he got the beautiful picture and carefully looked at every inch of it. Nagase looked it over once too.  
“It’s really good,” he praised Satoshi who smiled proudly.  
“That’s really for me?”  
Satoshi nodded and grinned brightly. “Yup so that you can always look at it when you want to.” Kazu nodded and as carefully as he could get down from his chair to put it on the sideboard so that nothing could happen with it.  
“I can put it away today, Kazu. And tomorrow we’ll buy a frame so that we can hang it on your wall?”, he proposed, and Kazu nodded thankfully.  
“That would be great. Thank you.” Nagase shook his head and ruffled his hair.  
“That is no problem,” he promised. Satoshi had the adoption paper on his wall because he wanted to be able to look at it whenever he felt lonely or unsure of his future. It made his heart lighter happy to see it. The picture would probably have a similar function for Kazu when he got older.


End file.
